Persevering Paige

My fiancé and I got engaged on May 15, 2022. When that happened, we had no idea what life would throw at us before we even walked down the aisle. I feel like marriage will be much like that, too. We are getting married on August 5th, which is just 107 days away from today. I’m sure after our first year of marriage, and every year to follow, we will talk about how many things we overcame together that we never saw coming.

I think this blog post came to my mind after some reflecting this past Friday. On Friday, I arrived in my classroom eager to give my students a pep talk. I brought lollipops—the good kind—and planned to tell them that no matter what their state test scaled score reads, that it doesn’t define how much progress they have made nor does it discount how proud I am of them. I set my things down behind my desk and turned on my smart board. All of my students had just sat down when I got a phone call from the main office that my fiancé was on the phone and it would probably be best for me to take the call in the office instead of my classroom. I immediately knew he was in a car accident, and my mind started to think the worst. I answered the phone and he told me that he was in an accident and his nose was probably broken, but that he was okay. I was given permission to leave, and I did. I went back to my classroom to grab my things. I told my students that I had to leave, and I walked out of the door. My TA told me she could take the reigns for the day.

I needed to get gas. I needed to see him. I had so many things rushing through my brain. I called him and told him I was coming. I didn’t know where he was but I had to see him. A woman who saw the accident and stopped got on the phone and gave me directions to the scene. She happened to be the parent of one of my students. She said, “You guys are going to be okay.”

When I arrived at the scene, I had to wait for my fiancé to get out of the state trooper’s car. The accident looked worse than I thought, and no one had told me that his car was smashed into a pole. I think something happens to your brain when you see your loved one’s car like that. I broke down and waited for him. When I saw him, he told me that he is okay and I hugged him and cried.

Since his accident, I have been different. All of the little things I cared about before…all of the things like Did your groomsmen all get their tuxedos ordered? When do we have to pay the photographer again? Did I email that parent back? Do you like these invitations? Did you clean up the kitchen after dinner last night? Why did you leave this here instead of putting it back where it belongs?

…all of those things didn’t matter anymore. The only thing that mattered is that my fiancé is alive. Perspective refocused. Message received.

The accident got me thinking, though, about how much we have been through while planning and awaiting our wedding. My fiancé lost his job in August (a few months after getting engaged)—and searched for jobs until finding one and starting at the end of October. It was difficult. We have received news about loved ones being injured. My fiancé’s grandmother passed away. I have had a really difficult school year. So many things. And then the accident. I do feel that struggles make you stronger. I feel like our time of engagement has been tough. I’ve never been one to think of marriage as easygoing, but I sort of did think of engagement as this brief period of planning and enjoying life before the big commitment. I planned to prepare for marriage, but I didn’t know that I was going to be shown the everyday struggles we may face when married during our engagement. It has been a fruitful journey to experience so many things in our period of marriage preparation. Truthfully, it has been a gift. We have really been blessed and prepared. We have had to lean on each other while preparing our hearts and minds for marriage in August.

I wanted our wedding to be next month, in May. God had other plans. He basically told me no. I didn’t want an August wedding. I didn’t want that long of an engagement—I thought 14 months was too long and I wanted just a year. God really showed me why it was all necessary, and why he couldn’t give me what I wanted. My fiancé is okay, just bruised. Thanks be to God and many guardian angels. His car is completely totaled, but we have mine and we also have insurance, so we believe it will be okay. God really does give us struggles to strengthen us. He rocks our boat and our world when He wants our attention. He’s got mine, and I can speak for my fiancé when I say that He’s got his too.

No matter the difficulties in your wedding planning journey, just know that it’s all going to be okay. You just might need to shift your focus.