Persevering Paige

“The vote is precious. It is the most non-violent tool we have in a democratic society, and we must use it.”-John Lewis

Personally, I often find voting to be hard. The actual filling out of the ballot or clicking a box electronically if you go in person is easy, but everything that comes before that often causes me great distress. With that being said, many women who were determined and far more amazing than me, worked hard to afford me the right to vote, and I will always use it.

I have never truly been able to identify with one political party. Before I was old enough to vote, I was very conservative, or so I thought. As I have gotten a few years older, I have found that I have some conservative values, but I also believe in things and ideas that are not supported by most conservatives. Therefore, while I have an opinion on every issue by itself, there fails to be a party that I align with. I call myself independent. I do not necessarily like that, because it makes me feel as if I am being too neutral. I have realized, however, that I am not neutral if I have an active voice and opinion on everything, I just do not align with one party. I was recently talking to someone and this person said that most people are probably in the middle when it comes to the two parties, so it is more common than not.

My first election that I was eligible to vote in was one that I wished did not have to be my first election. It was Donald J. Trump vs. Hillary R. Clinton in 2016. I was so stressed over what to do. They were both unideal presidential candidates! Of course as a young and first-time voter, there were so many people trying to persuade me. I was able to make a decision that was hard when I was so young, and I am proud of that. I still remember to this day weighing all of the factors heavily. It was not something I took lightly.

It is now a day before the next election, my second one, and the options are only slightly better. I still found myself right where I was four years ago, weighing things out, getting informed, and soul-searching. This time I voted by mail and a month early. I thought a lot about my decision, but I prayed more. I truly thought about what my values are, and which candidate most honors those values. I thought about the kind of country I want to live in. More than anything, I thought about my career path as a teacher, and the students I will have, and I prayed.

I thought about how I will teach hundreds of students throughout my time as a teacher and how they will all come from varying cultures, backgrounds, and socio-economic statuses. They will have different religions, life stories, and concerns. I tried to pick a candidate that would be most respectful of every single one of them. The night I sat down to fill out my ballot, I was still very distressed. I made the sign of the cross, and asked Jesus in that moment to help me pick the person that would be best for our nation. I did, and I haven’t looked back.

I know that I voted differently than many loved ones and family members. I worried a little that they would be disappointed in me, but then I remembered something profound. Each person who is of legal age to vote gets their vote. Every vote made belongs to the person who made it. They get to decide what is most important to them in that moment, and that is why each person has their own. Politics can be so dividing, but that is why it is so important to remind yourself that it is okay if others do not agree with the candidate you selected, if you choose to voice it. This is okay, because they are free to vote differently. Since I realized this, I’ve worried less about what others think about me or who I have disappointed. Anyone that truly knows me, knows that I am a strong, self-aware, determined, and compassionate lady. Those that love me and support me, know all of this and do not think differently of me based on who I voted for.

I have been really meditating on this over the last few days. “What values are most important to me in a candidate, and in my vision for our country?” This is what I came up with: Unity, Respect, Empathy, and Care. I believe we are divided, there is a lack of empathy, respect, and care for one another. I try and practice these values on a daily basis, because they are so important to me.

So, when I voted, I thought about people other than myself. There is a quotation from my favorite author, Mr. F. Scott Fitzgerald. He was far from perfect. He had some privilege and questionable views. Yet, I have a love for his perspective and his ability to string together words in a way that resonates with me like no other. The first few lines of his most well-known book, The Great Gatsby, state, “In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I have been turning over in my mind ever since. “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the same advantages you’ve had.”

I think that is a necessary reminder to keep at the forefront of your mind. Even a successful writer like Fitzgerald knew it to be true.

I have had a lot of struggles to get to where I sit now writing this. I am not naive to the fact that there will be many more. This has allowed me to understand others more than I probably would have without it. Let us recognize that the shared human experience is full of trials; we are each struggling immensely. We must have the courage and ability to reach out our hands, to be the voice of hope, no matter what. That is my hope for our nation.

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