Persevering Paige

I wrote this back on January 8th, and originally posted it on instagram. I realized that my longer posts work better in this forum *fail*, so here is something personal yet powerful…

My Dad died when I was a little girl. I was 7. From the age of 10 or 11 until last month, (so we’ll call it age 21), I lived with anger towards my father about some of the decisions he made in his lifetime and the way he chose to go about things. I believe anger is a natural human response to things. However, when it lingers for years and begins to consume you, it then becomes unhealthy and a problem. So many people, many much older than me, live with deep anger in their lives, that they don’t know how to deal with or process, and it greatly effects them. For me, I couldn’t get past my parent making me feel this way. They’re supposed to protect you, and console you. It’s hard to forgive those who hurt you. It’s even harder to forgive a parent who has hurt you. Throughout these years I listened to people tell me everything in the book. I just knew they didn’t quite understand since they hadn’t been through it. If you are feeling similarly, take your time. It took me over a decade. I yelled, and cried, and wrote, and sang in that decade and I can honestly say that eventually, after enough time has passed, after you get out all of the yelling you need to do, all that is left is love. The road to forgiveness is kind of like a tube of toothpaste, as my friend Reagan’s Mom said. Little by little, you get it all out. The funny thing about anger is are that it only hurts you. I can tell you that most of the time anyone who is angry, is hiding away intense sorrow underneath. I was. It may seem like a never ending road to forgive. Maybe a friend, or partner, or parent…but once you do it’s the most freeing thing in the world. To this day, I have zero anger towards a situation that once caused me so much pain. I only have compassion, love, and peace at heart. I know my Dad missed out, but I know he is proud of me, and I am proud to be his daughter. I’d be silly to think I’d be where I am if I didn’t have one heck of an angel father pulling strings for the past 13 years. Thanks, Tommy. ❤️