Persevering Paige

This year I transitioned from teaching fourth grade CCD to high school CCD. For those of you who don’t already know what CCD stands for, it stands for Confraternity of Christian Doctrine. It’s a Sunday school class simply put. I’m Catholic, some things in the Catholic Church are made to sound more traditional. We are pretty cool though.

I so wanted to teach high school and I’m so glad I’m getting the chance to share with teenagers my wisdom as we walk through the most beautiful faith journey. We will walk through important issues they face today side by side, I couldn’t be more greatful for the opportunity.

I co-teach, so we rotate. This was my first week where I got to mainly teach. I read in the book that teaching CCD isn’t just going through the book, but also sharing personal experiences and insight from my life with them. So I wrote a little short speech to bring with me to share with them. I tried to connect it to the lesson as I plan to do each week. Today’s lesson was about Happiness. We looked at happiness in our lives and talked about what makes us happy. Here is what I said:

“You all are high schoolers. Not too long ago I was too. (Eastern View anyone?…yeah! That’s my school!) I’m 20…I know that may seem really old to some of you, but to Mrs. Quetsch and Mr. Medina, I promise you they’d say I’m pretty young. (Lol!) So today we are going to dive into happiness. The unit of today is called, “What Makes Me Happy?” Part of life is figuring that out. I believe that this unit is going to give you the foundation along with some basics to help you be able to tackle such an issue. I wanted to share a story about myself with you guys.  

So when I was 14, I lost my Mom. I spent a lot of time being angry. It consumed me. So as a freshman in high school until about the middle of my sophomore year, that’s where I was. Angry. I also strayed away from and for the most part completely dropped my faith. I was grieving a very deep and profound loss and I wanted nothing to do with the Church. The top coat that the grief put on me was anger, but the top coat eventually wore off just as it always does, and what was that the core eventually rose to the surface. And that was sadness. Complete and utter sadness. The anger gave me this strong-willed attitude where I didn’t need anything or anyone… I could handle it. The sadness however, broke me down and in a sense, made me weak and vulnerable to help. It wasn’t until that point that I fell back into the arms of Jesus. Even though he was there the whole time with his arms wide open for me like, “Sweetheart I’m right here…” I thought I knew better.

I was searching for comfort and healing in the world. Without faith, all there was was the world. This world. While the world does have many resources to take advantage of, it did not have the most powerful one. It did not have the ability to comfort me in the way I so desperately needed and longed to be comforted. It did not have the ability to heal my soul in the way my soul needed to be healed. Because while the world watches you struggle and says nothing, Jesus says, “I understand, for I have once too lived a cross  that seemed too heavy to bear. You are loved and I will walk this road with you. Every. Step. Of. The. Way. You are not alone.” 

Had I not turned back to my faith, I would still be searching. I would still be that 14-year-old girl searching and grasping at anything the world threw my way. I would be turning and looking to the world only to find my efforts unnoticed. I wouldn’t be here with you all on this beautiful Sunday. 

And while that was me so many years ago, I had to share because at one point you might feel the very same way. It took bravery and it took courage for me to turn back to my faith. And I want all of you to know that that’s how I see each one of you. Brave. I see you all as young St. Joan of Arc’s going into battle. (And if you’ve ever seen that picture of her riding on her horse you know exactly what I mean.) You being here shows incredible maturity and bravery.

The world will try to feed you many lies. Lies that young people such as you and I so often believe. But you being here shows me that you are strong enough to say to the world,” Ha! Come at me. I know what I need and I don’t have to believe a single lie you’re telling me.” 

As you get into college in your 20s you will more so understand what I mean. 

I wanted to share because faith has so much to do with happiness. A solid foundation is key to a strong, happy house.

Coming back to my faith didn’t just help me get through quite possibly the biggest loss I’ll ever go through in my life, it also helped me realize that while I may not have my earthly mother here, I have my Eternal mother Mary who is always by my side, never going to leave.”