Persevering Paige

In 2 days, it will be exactly two years since my best friend lost her battle with cancer. I logged onto Facebook this morning, and was reminded of this memory I shared last year. I decided to share it on my blog this year. It read:

“I would like to make Good Friday a Great Friday by sharing a great memory. 
One afternoon last November, Reagan and I were in town getting a few things at Dollar Tree. We drove separately. Reagan had gotten there first and walked over to my car once she saw me pull into a parking spot. I got out and said, “Does my tire look flat to you??” Reagan responded how any teen girl would, “I don’t know!” I told her how it had felt weird driving over here. 
As we finished shopping and walked out the door, I asked Reagan if she would go with me to put air in my tire because I wasn’t really sure how to do it. She said sure. She got in my passenger seat and we rode over to the shell station. I parked close to the air machine and got out. I walked over to the air pump, and I said, “Reagan! It’s going to be 75 cents! Can you look in my car and see if you can find it in the change box?” She found it and handed it to me. I put the quarters into the machine, and it turned on. It was very loud, a lot louder than I expected. I grabbed the cord and walked over to the tire and pulled the cap off that was on the tire. I put the cord from the air machine where I had taken the cap off on my tire and said, “Is it on right?!” Reagan got out of the car and said, “It looks like it’s on right.” She looked at me bending over and began laughing. I looked at her and started laughing too. I replied, “It doesn’t look like my tire is getting any bigger…” Reagan dropped her crutches and knelt down beside me and then began to start laughing again, because people driving by were staring at 2 teenage girls on their hands and knees trying to get air in a tire that clearly have no idea what they’re doing—funny right. I said, “Seriously, it is going to time out, and I am scared to drive home on tire with low air!!” We are practically yelling at each other because the air machine was so loud. Reagan said, “Let me try!” She tried to put it on my tire and left it on for a few seconds and then I said, “Okay take it off!! I don’t want my tire to explode, what if it is too full?! How do I know? I don’t think I have one of those tire pressure things in here…” Reagan looked at me confused. I then began walking around my car looking at all of my other 3 tires, to compare the sizes of them to the one I was trying to fill. I said, “Okay now this tire looks too big!” Reagan began laughing hysterically and so did I. Meanwhile the machine is still going in the background. “RRRRRRRRRR.” I said, “Ugh let’s just forget it!” I put the cap back on my tire and we drove off. 
I miss my best friend, but most of all what I miss is the pain in my stomach that I would get from laughing so hard. I now have pain in my heart from life without you. I know you’re in a much better place, (at least one of us 2 friends got there) and I’m just going through the motions. Some days are easier than others. I miss you, and our moments. I know a part of you is always here with me, nevertheless, I miss our moments.”
….I miss our moments still. I miss them more than anything. Oh what I would give to just re-live them one more time. It’s almost been two years since you died, and I tell myself, “I may not be where I’d like to be, but I’m not where I used to be.” It’s tough, because I live in the world of is and not the world of ought. The world of ‘is’ allows me to admit that I miss our moments.