Persevering Paige

This blog post is meant for my little sister, Danielle. In a few short months she will be graduating high school…and there’s just a few things I want to say.

There’s so much I want you to know, so I will use this forum to tell you a few of those things (don’t worry, I am saving a ton special for your card), but the majority, you’ll need to learn yourself. Though…I’ll be right by you.

First and foremost, I am proud of you. I am so proud of you. More importantly, Mom and Dad are so proud of you. Since they aren’t physically here to tell you that, as your big sister, I get the credibility to do so. You have overcome so much, and although things have been complex and messy at times, you’re about to truly spread your wings and enter into the real world. I couldn’t be happier or more excited for you, and neither can they!

Life after high school is tough for everyone, especially those in our situation, and I hope there are few. As you already know, life growing up in high school with no living parents is extremely difficult. I am sure that you have also most likely come to the realization that life as a young adult without your parents will be just as difficult. I won’t lie to you, it will be, but in a new way. However, I want you to know that you have so many people that love you alongside something that I didn’t have as a senior about to graduate; a big sister that has been through the same thing herself just a few short years ago. I will do anything and everything I can to help you, whether it be guidance, advice, maybe you need help buying something, homework, a friend…whatever it may be, I’m already there.

There is so much pressure in the world, from society, ourselves, family, friends–to know exactly what you want to be and to know exactly what you want to do. It is almost as if there is a socially constructed invisible law that all of the world has subconsciously agreed to that says one must know, or pretend to know, exactly what they want to do or be at this very moment. My advice? Don’t fall into that. Part of being a young adult is finding your way, and your path isn’t set in stone, even when you think it is. At your age, everything is constantly changing, so embrace it, and try not to be too hard on yourself.

Speaking of paths, they say that everyone has a path in life, which is true. Often times, we will compare our path to someone else’s. As soon as we do that, we have failed the beauty of our own path. Your path is unique and special for you. It is tempting to look at someone else’s path and be in awe of what they have, and it is okay to be in awe sometimes–just remember to be in awe of your own path too. Don’t compare it to anyone else’s, because it is no one else’s path. It is your own. I have found that focusing on wishing someone else’s path in life were my own can be a major setback. I once saw a quote that said, “The key to success in life is playing the cards you were dealt like they were the cards you wanted.” Seriously, that could not be more true.

There is a lot of change that follows graduating high school. It’s okay to be scared. You may find yourself one day, sitting by a window…reflecting, questioning, pondering, and having the feel of, “now what?” That’s normal and part of starting to move forward with your life. Pick up the phone and call your sister if that feeling is ever overwhelming.

Whatever you choose to do, whether it’s college, take a year off, trade school, whatever it may be- you will take hard classes, you will have hard days at work, and they will make you feel unintelligent, incapable, and frustrated. You have to go through hard classes to get to the endpoint, and hard days will find you no matter where you are in life. Please don’t ever believe you are unintelligent or incapable. You are far from that. You are beautifully and wonderfully made, and you are capable of every opportunity in this world.

Sometimes you will fail, but you cannot, under any circumstance, give up. If you walk, or crawl, you’re still moving forward.

Some days, you will feel like you aren’t doing anything with your life. In the first year after I graduated, I felt that way more times than I can count. Things take time, and we are impatient. Good careers, good salaries…they all take time. Don’t give up and stay patient. Also…never forget to, on your hardest days, take a step back and remember how far you have come. Graduating high school is a big accomplishment. It took a long time to achieve that, and you should be so proud of yourself. Too many times society tries to rush high school graduates into the next step and doesn’t give them time to marvel at how far they have come…don’t be afraid to take that time. In fact, don’t be afraid to take any time, ever. Taking the scenic route is okay.

When it comes to being successful, remember that everyone measures success differently. Some measure success by how much money they have in the bank, while others measure success around how kind they were that day. So, don’t worry about whose version of success you fit under.

You know what is best for you. You are you, nobody else is you. Nobody else has the power to know what is best for you, because no on else has lived your life, feels what you feel, and has been through what you have been through. Loved ones can offer suggestions and listening to others is always okay, but you can choose to discard of the opinions’ that don’t make you happy. Always listen to yourself-you may even hear Mom.

In my life, guiltily, I have felt invincible. At all we have been through at such a young age, I mean, how could we not? The biggest lesson to come from that feeling is—-be not afraid to ask for help. Although we may feel invincible at times, we are not, we are human, and help is okay.

You will have days where you cry and question everything, know that I have them too, so did Mom, so did Dad. Though you will have these days, you will also have great days. Life comes in waves. I truly do believe that the best is yet to come. I feel that all of us will flourish as adults. A trying childhood paves the way for nothing less than adult years full of happiness, blessings, and prosperity. Try not to lose sight of that.

I do apologize for my incoherent rambling. I hope you were able to get a little something from it. Remember that no matter where you go, or what you do, you will always have that little voice inside of you that is a light in the darkness of your life, that is Mom and Dad. And know that you always have a big sister that loves you more than anything.

This isn’t the end, it’s the beginning. Mom raised us to be strong women…now go out there and continue to make her proud…

I thought I’d leave you with a Mom quote. One of my favorites.

“Make sure you find someone that loves you a little bit more than you love him, that way, you’ll never get hurt.” -Our Mama