Persevering Paige

The purpose of this article is to write something about Father’s Day, and what it means if you are me. It isn’t the typical day for me, but rather, even more special because I have so much to celebrate. I thought it was worthy of its own post, because all of the men I am about to describe to you have tremendously impacted my life in ways you couldn’t understand. 

First, I’d like to appreciate my own father. I lost my Dad when I was 7. It hasn’t been easy, it’s been anything but. However, throughout the years, above all of the healing, grieving, anger, pain, and feelings I’ve overcome, there is a sense of peace and appreciation for you. It took time to get where I am today. I know that I will never understand the circumstance under which I lost you. I know that I will never have anything that could compare to the relationship that we would’ve had. I know that I will never be able to fully be okay with not having you here throughout my life to turn to–but I want you to know that I love you and I’m at peace with the reality which is our situation. There are no hard feelings anymore. There is no judegement towards you. There is only compassion, and love coming your way from me. There are so many things in this life I’ll never have the ability to understand. We all make decisions based on things we are going through. I have been through so many emotions, but ultimately it’s given me the chance to heal with grace. I still have a relationship with you in my life, it’s just a different one. And although I don’t get to have you physically here, I have formed relationships with father figures in my life that I am so very grateful for. I love you Dad, Happy Father’s Day. Thanks for the ultimate gift I could ever be given on this Earth, the gift of life.

Secondly, my stepdad. I really don’t have the words to describe how thankful I am for all that you have done for me since I was 10 years old. Oh how do I wish the English language created words that would allow me to describe just how much you mean to me. You are the one of the best men I have ever met. You have made me feel like your daughter throughout my life, without ever trying to take the place of my Dad. You are amazing, inspirational, a Dad worth all the best things in life. I would spend the rest of my life trying to repay you for all you’ve done for me if I were going to repay you. Thank you for not leaving my Mother’s side during her battle with terminal cancer. Thank you for taking that even further, and for never leaving her children from a previous marriage after she passed. Amazing. You’re a special man. A blessing.

Lastly, but far from least, my uncle. A man that took me in for 3 years after losing both parents and needing a break from the house where my mother passed. A man that stood there with open arms, ready to rearrange his home, his life, and his finances all for 3 children that needed him. A man that took that a step further and became not only an amazing father figure, but my best friend. A man that took the time to look closely into my interests to make them his so that we could talk about them. I never felt alone through my hardest struggles because I had you there by my side. You took your time to laugh with me, give me the best advice, write my papers, you took me in and made me feel like a piece of the puzzle. I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove you right, because you said I was a strong lady. My Dad has a lot to thank you for. 

No matter what your situation is on Father’s Day, if it’s “not normal”, or anything like mine, it’s more of a blessing than its opposite. It took me awhile to be at peace. It took me awhile to stop wishing for a different circumstance on this day and to love what I have been given. Wherever you are, don’t be hard on yourself. Celebrate this day and if you feel that you have nothing to celebrate, do nice things for others to make yourself feel better. 

You could:

-send a card to a St.Jude’s Dad

-mow an elderly neighbor’s lawn

-smile at a Dad at church 

-keep focusing on the light in whatever situation you find yourself in
-A girl that has a lot to be thankful for. 3 men by the names of Tommy, Ed, and Kevin made my Father’s Day one worth writing about.