Persevering Paige

If you were still here today, I know exactly what I would say, and I know exactly how I would say it. I don’t want to make it seem that through writing this- I am bragging about I having the best Mom out there, but I really did. 

You left the day I turned 14, so, early in the  teenage years. The teenage years are ugly, especially mine, so I never got the chance to say thank you for just how well you raised me. This was partially because you left before I was fully raised and was able to put into full works the values that you instilled in me, but also because it would take until I was a little older to truly be able to recognize and appreciate all that you gave me.

It took a little observing others, Mom, and being thrown into situations where I would need your instruments to be thankful for you. So throughout everything I have seen, felt, and done, if you were here today I would first hug you. I would probably cry a little while hugging you, and then I would wipe away my tears and manage to make out this message to you. 

Mom, 

Thank you. Thank you so much for raising me with morals and values that not a lot of kids get anymore. This has given me the ability to know right from wrong, and the power to know who I am and what I believe in. That builds confidence and strength for my life. Thank you so much for taking me to Mass every Sunday. No matter how badly you felt from your horrible cancer, you always went. No matter how much I fought you about going, because I didn’t “want to”, you did not give up on me. You did not back down, even though you felt awful yourself, you still powered through and forced your stubborn teenage daughter to go. I realize now the importance of it, the value of it, and how I turned out because my Mom gave me something so much greater than this life can give me, and did not give up on me. Thank you for teaching me that we are all precious, beyond words. I have taken that seriously. Thank you for teaching me manners and for being my number one person to confide in always. I never felt alone. Thank you for teaching me how important it is for a woman to make her own money, and to never rely on anyone else to provide for me-because often this life throws us curveballs and its best to always be prepared. Thank you for always keeping the house spotless, even though right after you cleaned it, we would always mess it back up. You were sometimes on your hands and knees cleaning up crumbs, or breaking your back to vacuum a spot you already vacuumed earlier that day. You made me feel that I was worth a nice environment to live in, and taught me that cleanliness is so much better than its polar opposite. Thank you for driving me places, and singing to the radio while banging on the steering wheel with your thumbs. That along with your contagious laugh taught me that this life is easier with some sugar & spice. Thank you for always writing a note in my lunchbox, it made my day even when I told you it was uncool. Thank you for always hugging me goodnight. Thank you for giving me your everything, even with the short amount of time I had you. Thank you for making it so that one day, I can give my kids everything you gave me, and I can be an amazing Mom too. It’s all because of you. I sit in awe a lot, just thinking about how thankful I am for you, and I just wanted you to know. Some kids, they don’t get this lucky. They weren’t given a Mom like you. I always feel like I am “way too good” compared to kids these days. Maybe I am, or maybe I was just raised by the best Mom in the world-that knew what she was doing. I’m not afraid to stand out in the crowd because I know who I am and what I don’t do, and I understand that I am worth more than this life could ever offer me. And it is all because of you.

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You will never know how much it means to me. I would’ve written you this on my wedding day, on some fancy card, but I didn’t get that chance. I just hope you know how thankful I am for you.